Today's men are heroes! No debate. Don't box them in, I beg.

Marvel Studios

We have to pause for a moment and give a round of applause for all the men that are still around and doing life despite all the pressure that the world has put on their shoulders at the moment. It is, factually, a harder world out there for men than it is for women judging from the expectations of family and society to provide, prevail and prosper. These three "P's" have caused an enormous amount of stress, mental breakdowns and the loss of lives on my peers at an alarming rate.

Globally, the suicide for men is twice as high as for women, according to statistics gathered by Our World in Data. That alone calls for us to stop and just be thankful for all the men you meet in the street who are still pushing and have not quit no matter how easy an option it may be. The odds are highly staked against them.

In South Africa, over 13 deaths within a 100 000 population are attributed to suicide, making it over 8 thousand deaths per year from the current population of 59 million.

If you have a man beside you right now as you read this, why not give him a big hug and tell him how a superhero he has been just to be present in your life.

Men are not only expected to survive, they are forced to become a pillar of support and the deep running roots for the family and for future generations. Despite the call to uplift the women, which I support very much, men still find themselves sitting on top of economies (micro and macro) steering the course and expected to make decisions even when not asked to. As a man, the call to make decisions falls on you at anytime in your life more times than our counterparts unless you give it up willingly and don't want to be involved in anything.

Consider how men are expected to remain devoted to relationships despite they being too many traps (set willingly or unwillingly by women, the media or other facets of life) that could potentially derail them from loyalty.

Or how a man must keep a job in today's environment where inflation has eroded expenditure and the majority of workplaces unfriendly to males species. The "Set Up To Fail Syndrome" in which the smallest of shortcomings can begin a chain of events that can eventually see an employee quit or get fired from his job are but the tip of the iceberg to a long and gruesome life for any man out there.

The truth is we are constantly at the receiving end far more than anyone else because of the many facets of life that we need to conquer. No wonder why many decide not to share their problems because it all seems overwhelming. You can't be telling another men, who is busy fighting his own wars. And, you can't share with a woman who will not understand you because she is a woman and might regard you as weak. It's being found between a rock and a hard place.

I cannot at any stage of my life decide to give up on my spouse, sexuality, kids, employment, dreams, aspirations, my home, my siblings, my parents, my in-laws, my friends, my business, my religion and faith. In whichever of these I encounter problems, I am compelled by nature, physicality, culture and societal standards to prevail. To answer every question that is asked on the above and to come out tops. To live to tell the tale.

Men have to juggle it all and make it look like nothing, although sometimes, despite how effective or successful men can be on any of the above mentioned duties and responsibilities, many have failed to deal and cope with some of the stresses that come along with it and have given themselves into destructive habits that have eroded the mind, body and often at times separated the spirit from the world of the living.

Remember that in this article we haven't spoken about how hard it can be for man to gain profitable employment, a key factor in a man's life. That alone can change the course one's life. Be it formal of informal means of employment, both can be sources of frustrations and in today's world, the lack of any meaningful profits from these endeavours can be deemed as a failure.

On instances I have asked myself numerous questions about life and interestingly enough managed to provide answers to all. This self reflection or shall I say "Hypophora" can be a long, complex and even life threatening to others. Often at times, when you ask the question and provide the wrong answer to yourself, things can fall apart. One can easily chose the wrong path that can lead to very nasty situations. It is imperative to remain resolute about life and any issue that a man might face and that he deals with these questions in the right manner.

To many men. alcoholism and drug abuse have been their way out. If you ask me, it is a far better option than suicide. The former you can help out gradually until there is order while the latter often is abrupt and with very little means of avoiding.

I have noted that the major reasons as to why today we have a problem with men is that they have been expected to act in certain way, in a specific place and at a specific time. This limits the potential of a man to manoeuvre and adjust to the environment around him. Because nothing is perfect on earth, applying a one size fits all mentality to what a man should be like is wrong. All men cannot be the same surely.

Read through some of the late bloomers in life according to this article by TIME magazine.

Nothing is cast in stone and you surely wont be the first if you haven't bought a car or living in your own home at the age of 25 or 30. Situations are different and believe me you are where you are supposed to be right now, make full use of it and don't stress yourself into becoming what you will become in the fullness of time. It certainly doesn't help you forcing it to happen because it leads to so many unwanted situations in your life.

And if you have to answer any question/s about life from anyone, I will leave you with a famous quote that I have used in my life occasionally from Robert Browning,

“Grow old along with me! The best is yet to be, the last of life, for which the first was made. Our times are in his hand who saith, 'A whole I planned, youth shows but half; Trust God: See all, nor be afraid!”

― Robert Browning