Are we more Polyamorous than Monogamous?

Can one person ever love two people the same? Is it a civilised thing to accept in African society? Is the acceptance of Polyamory a solution to the rising problems in relationships, infidelities, heartbreaks and divorce?

A few days ago, friends showed alerted me to a news article in which Will Smith's daughter, Willow came out saying that she is polyamorous. She spoke about how she preferred to be in a relationship with more than one person but could not see herself going above two people.

While it came out (to some people), as a shock, somewhat brave and unheard of phenomenon, more so the fact that this reveal was done in front of her mother and grandmother, I thought of it as a kind of a solution to individuals who have been finding it hard to keep to one partner. Monogamy, a notion which, despite people think it is a hugely African phenomenon, is actually more a western way of life.

In many ways, as Africans, we have lost our old ways and acclimatised to western ways that even now we cannot recognise ourselves anymore. This only applies to certain parts of our society such as religion. Despite having our own which seemed to be working just fine, we took on board a western religion and forever changed the way in which we think or even act.

And thus the "ideal" marriage was changed to monogamy because certain parts of Christian text was taught to the people. In the end concepts such as Polygamy are frowned upon and stigmatised when in actual fact, could have the potential to bring about a healthier society.

We discussed this issue on Twitter Spaces show called The 6am Club: Wake Up Africa and the mixed thoughts highlight were we are in accepting back the culture and we also did a poll in which you can share your thoughts on the issue here.

Here are some of the thoughts from people joining the space.

"Can we define Polyamory for ourselves?" Aisha "I tried Polyamory, it didn't work and I had to take time off dating" Moyoza,

"It introduces the aspect that you can’t be everything to someone." Dennis "Human beings should be kept on a leash" - Michael.

"The complexities of a polyamorous relationship are doubled, are we ready to tackle all these before you decide on doing it. Conflict resolution, emotional, physical and economical requirements are all doubled" "It's something that people should explore because we have been taught a certain type of love and sadly that's not all there is" - Danko. "It’s like cutting yourself into parts" - Rev Stock

To listen to the entire conversation please get the podcast here.